Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Moving Forward

I've debated sharing this at all, since I haven't posted anything on here since June - and it's now October. But I think it would be helpful for me to write some things down, and share a little about missing my mom, and also our recent trip to spread her ashes.

I sure do miss her.

I borrowed this picture from Beth - our computer crashed and I can't get our old pictures yet.
This is a great way to remember her - Mom loved being at Lake Pearrygin!

When I'm driving lately, I keep thinking, 'I should call Mom.' and then I catch myself.

There have been a lot of things going on lately - some good and some really hard. I just want to ask her what I should do - ask her what her thoughts are.

But I'm adjusting. I'm learning to lean on the Lord - He is my strength. I've discovered the comfort that is found in the Lord, in turning to Him when I'm frustrated and my heart is hurting. I love that hymn,

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. O what peace we often forfeit, o what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

It might sound simplistic or trite, but it's truth. Jesus is the Comforter, the loving Counselor. It's something that I've come to feel in ways I didn't understand before. My heart still hearts, and I miss my mom, but I feel a peace that isn't found anywhere else.

Last weekend, my dad, Brother, Sister, Uncle Rick and I went for a hike in the mountains up near Mt. Baker. It is a hike that I had been on before - when I was 5 and Brandon was 4 - Mom was pregnant with Steph at the time, and went on the hike. It's steep - and it's 2.5 miles to the first meadow. I admire her ability to hike at all when she was pregnant, but this was a hard hike - she was such a strong-willed lady!

It was a beautiful hike!

The meadow that we chose to stop in was one that I remembered from our previous hike - it's a place that's held a lot of mystery and intrigue in my memory, so it's a very special place to me. It was absolutely beautiful! There was a foot or more of snow, and little patches where you could see the plants or streams in the midst of the snow.

I can't wait to come back up here this summer, because I think it's going to be a very beautiful place when the flowers are blooming and everything is green and growing!

I felt like I had a great opportunity to reflect on my mom and her life, and to say goodbye to her in a way. It's not that I will forget her now, or not miss her anymore (because I still miss her an awful lot) but I at least feel more closure after having spread her ashes.